WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS GONE
- Kasule Jacob
- Aug 21, 2020
- 5 min read
1 THESSALONIANS 4:13-18 (NIV)
The past few months has been hard on almost everyone. The world has experienced recorded death by the thousands as a result of COVID-19; Hundreds more are dying because of cancer; here in Africa, thousands die due to malaria every year. Death is around us everyday, yet each time it happens, it is a traumatizing experience that many fail to cope with. Some never get to recover from the death of a loved one. There are those who will live in denial the rest of their lives because they do not want to deal with the reality of being separated from their dear ones. You might be dealing with the passing away of someone close to you even now, so how do we move on when a loved one is gone?
Paul’s letter to the Thessalonian believers will help us answer the above question.
1. ACCEPT THAT THEY ARE GONE
The first step in dealing with death is acceptance. Many people tend to live in denial and therefore relive the episode over and over again. We need to come to term with reality, acknowledge they are gone and we cannot change that fact. “Brothers we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death…” (verse 13). Learning to live with the death of a dear one begins with being informed about their passing. Not just being informed, but also accepting that they are gone. Those who do trauma healing will tell you that the first stage in overcoming your trauma is accepting the truth of what took place; that is the first step towards healing.
2. ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE
“So that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (verse 13). The Bible tells us that grieving is a normal part of the healing process. Grieving is okay, its how we grieve and what that grief leads us to doing that matter. Paul said we should not grieve like we don’t have hope. Grieving allows us to release the locked emotions that otherwise would consume us from inside.
“Do not keep your emotions locked up inside to the point of breakdown.”
Many of our African culture do not believe in men crying or expressing their emotions. This cultural belief that attaches men’s emotional expression to weakness has made many men bottle-up grief, anger, frustration, and anxiety often to a point they cannot handle it anymore. Many then will experience an out-bust and worse still, some have ended up taking their lives. Allow yourself to grieve, it is okay to cry and when the tears come, let them roll. “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).
3. HAVE HOPE THAT IN CHRIST YOU WILL SEE THEM AGAIN
One of the many encouragements that the Scripture gives us is the fact that we will be in God’s mansion forever. Jesus told His disciples, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am” (John 14:1-3).
Jesus promised those who follow Him a mansion in His Father’s house, he promised to come back for us to take us home. This house is for all those who believe in Him, and this is why we can have hope of seeing our loved ones again, we will all be with Him when He comes to take us home.
“Do not lose hope for in Christ Jesus you will see your loved ones again.”
4. RELY ON GOD’S WORD FOR ENCOURAGEMENT
“According to the Lord’s Word we tell you… we will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep” (verse 14). The Word of God gives life, it encourages, it teaches, it rebukes, and trains. It is in God’s Word that we are told, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3); It gives us promises that, “whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). and may other such verses. Let us constantly feed on the Word of God. Let His Word never depart from your mouth.
“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is Good” (1 Peter 2:2-3).
5. REMEMBER THAT DEATH IS NOT THE END FOR BELIEVERS
“For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first” (verse 16). If you were wondering what will happen now that your loved ones have passed on, here is a promise, the Lord will raise them again at His return.
What we should be asking ourselves is not what will happen to those who have gone before us, but rather what will happen to us who have remained. Ask yourself when your time comes will it find you ready? Knowing that there is only one way to heaven. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Are you ready to go if God said your time is today? To be ready, you need Jesus.
“If you are going to be ready for the future, the choice must be made today and now.”
6. WE NEED TO ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER
Paul concluded this chapter with these words, “Therefore encourage one another with these words” (verse 18). We need to realize or at least be reminded that we need one another. It has always been said no man is an island, we need one another because we were made that way. If you have been thinking you do not anyone you need to think again. If you have experienced a death of someone close or dear to you then you understand what I mean.
When a death occurs it brings with it confusion, heartache, and pain. Its a time where we need the moral support of each other. As believers we are called to live as a family. “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I do not need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I do not need you.” What affects one member affects the rest of the body. We need one another. Let us be a family God has intended for us to be. Reach out to someone you know has had a death in their family and pray for them and with them. Reach out and encourage them.
Death is painful, but what is more painful is to lose our loved ones when they do not know Christ. Let us preach the Gospel and restore hope, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5).
“Let us be a family that stays together; a family that is there for each other.”
Kasule Jacob (MTS) is the founder of Galactic Foundation Ministries in Uganda. He holds a Master of Theological Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina, USA. He is a Bible teacher with East African Outreach Pastor Training Center and an Adjunct lecturer of New Testament Greek, Church History, Hermeneutics, Bible & Family and Quasi Christian Religions at Uganda Baptist Seminary.
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